It’s just a small, white envelope stuck among the branches of our Christmas tree. No name, no identification, no inscription. It has peeked through the branches of our tree for the past 10 years or so.

It all began because my husband Mike hated Christmas – oh, not the true meaning of Christmas, but the commercial aspects of it – overspending… the frantic running around at the last minute to get a tie for Uncle Harry and the dusting powder for Grandma – the gifts given in desperation because you couldn’t think of anything else.

Knowing he felt this way, I decided one year to bypass the usual shirts, sweaters, ties and so forth.

I reached for something special just for Mike. The inspiration came in an unusual way. Our son Kevin, who was 12 that year, was wrestling at the junior level at the school he attended; and shortly before Christmas, there was a non-league match against a team sponsored by an inner-city church, mostly black. These youngsters, dressed in sneakers so ragged that shoestrings seemed to be the only thing holding them together, presented a sharp contrast to our boys in their spiffy blue and gold uniforms and sparkling new wrestling shoes.

As the match began, I was alarmed to see that the other team was wrestling without headgear, a kind of light helmet designed to protect a wrestler’s ears. It was a luxury the ragtag team obviously could not afford. Well, we ended up walloping them. We took every weight class. And as each of their boys got up from the mat, he swaggered around in his tatters with false bravado, a kind of street pride that couldn’t acknowledge defeat. Mike, seated beside me, shook his head sadly, “I wish just one of them could have won,” he said. “They have a lot of potential, but losing like this could take the heart right out of them.”

Mike loved kids – all kids-and he knew them, having coached little league football, baseball and lacrosse. That’s when the idea for his present came. That afternoon, I went to a local sporting goods store and bought an assortment of wrestling headgear and shoes and sent them anonymously to the inner-city church.

On Christmas Eve, I placed the envelope on the tree, the note inside telling Mike what I had done and that this was his gift from me. His smile was the brightest thing about Christmas that year and in succeeding years. For each Christmas, I followed the tradition – one year sending a group of mentally handicapped youngsters to a hockey game, another year a check to a pair of elderly brothers whose home had burned to the ground the week before Christmas, and on and on. The envelope became the highlight of our Christmas.

It was always the last thing opened on Christmas morning and our children, ignoring their new toys, would stand with wide-eyed anticipation as their dad lifted the envelope from the tree to reveal its contents. As the children grew, the toys gave way to more practical presents, but the envelope never lost its allure.

The story doesn’t end there. You see, we lost Mike last year due to dreaded cancer. When Christmas rolled around, I was still so wrapped in grief that I barely got the tree up. But Christmas Eve found me placing an envelope on the tree, and in the morning, it was joined by three more. Each of our children, unbeknownst to the others, had placed an envelope on the tree for their dad. The tradition has grown and someday will expand even further with our grandchildren standing around the tree with wide-eyed anticipation watching as their fathers take down the envelope. Mike’s spirit, like the Christmas spirit, will always be with us.  

 Author unknown 

Many people have well over a week off at Christmas and its great not to have the daily slog to the office or workplace. Why not make this New Year a little different?

Instead of getting straight back in the grind why not allow yourself a little bit of time each day to do what will make you feel calm and rested rather than stressed?

Perhaps you could set aside 30 minutes before work or half a day at the weekend. Maybe you need to experiment to see what works best for you. 

You can use this time to meditate, read, listen to soothing music, or just to be.

Why not give it a go and let me know how you will get on.

Christmas Messages

Over the Christmas period I’m focusing more on life rather than career issues – short articles for reflection, so enjoy!

Our homes are full of clutter.  We all have so much stuff! We keep things as we might want to access them “one day” but they take up space and drain our energy.

It also wastes time; we know we have something somewhere, but where?

Christmas has meant a lot of gifts so we need more space to put things away.

If you are lucky enough to have time off over this holiday period why not use some of this time to begin a clear out. Perhaps to start with your bedroom, getting rid of the clothes you don’t wear and the rather sad looking undies. Then look at the pile of books by the bed – could you put them back on a shelf and just keep the one you are reading nearby?

Once you’ve done this room, you can move onto the next one.

Let me know how you get on.

When you send out Christmas cards did you include a “round robin” letter, scribble a note, or maybe you just signed your name.  

We are all inundated by so much information, wouldn’t it be best to make your card more personal? And isn’t it good to stay in touch?

It’s easy to lose track of friends, there are people we were regularly in touch with who are now just a name on a Christmas card list.

So why not go through your Christmas cards and pull out a few from people that you have lost contact with.   Maybe you have an email address so you can send a message, but why not pick up the phone or actually write and post a letter?

Imagine how good you will feel when you regain a connection with an old friend and it really will be a happy New Year.

Christmas Messages

Over the Christmas period I’m focusing more on life rather than career issues – short articles for reflection, so enjoy!

In our busy lives we often eat on the move and people come home at different times and so we eat individually.  Or else we just put something on a tray and eat in front of the TV.

One of the great things about Christmas is the way we eat with our family and there is time for conversation and togetherness.

As we head towards the New Year would you be able to make a meal with family or friends part of your New Years rituals. Taking time to talk and discuss.  It’s a great way to stay connected.

Christmas Messages

Over the Christmas period I’m focusing more on life rather than career issues – short articles for reflection, so enjoy!

We have more time at Christmas and want to spend time with loved ones.  How kind are you to other people? 

With the rush up to Christmas life can get a bit fraught and we can rush around forgetting to say hello. So in what ways can you be kind to other people? 

Can you offer someone a smile, take time to listen, or allow someone to step in front of you in a queue. We can go one step further – how about buying the ticket for the person behind you in a queue, picking up some rubbish and putting it in the bin, or buying a coffee for the person selling newspapers. 

Think about how the person will feel, and how good you will feel. 

Will you be kind to someone today?