It’s an extrovert world.  This is hard for those of us who are more introverted by nature.

Extroversion and Introversion are two of the scales from the Myers Briggs Type indicator, these words are so well known that they are used in everyday life. Extroverts are people who are energized by other people and are seen as friendly and easy to get to know and people often know a lot about what they are thinking and feeling.  They tend to act first and think about it afterwards.  Introverts on the other hand get their energy from within and are often seen as reserved and harder to get to know. they are less likely to share thoughts and feelings and often take a long time thinking about what they are going to do and perhaps can miss out on something.

I’ve recently worked with a client who is quite introverted by nature but feels she should ‘act as an extrovert’.  Many of us that are introverted feel that we need to change our behaviour to fit in with more extroverted people but if we act out of type this can be quite stressful for us.

When I was young I was very shy and quiet, people used to say ‘Denise is deep’, I don’t think I was but if I couldn’t think of something relevant to say I’d rather say nothing.  Later I’d have some great thoughts, but it was too late by then.

That’s what often happens with Introverts – we don’t always think of an immediate response, and even if we do we can be a bit unsure if we should speak up or not. Sometimes we have chosen right, but most of the time we realise that we should have spoken, particularly when someone else says what we had thought of saying.

What I learnt to do was to think in advance what was likely to be discussed, even better if I got a well laid out agenda. Over time I also got a bit more assertive in making my comments, particularly as I developed an expertise in an area but I’d often introduce my view with a comment like

‘I’m not sure if this is exactly right, but I was thinking we  could …’

It also helps if you know about the topic, so sometimes it works best if you have some background knowledge, perhaps by being seen as an expert in a particular area.

It can also help if you let other people know how to get the best out of working with an introvert – I run team building events based on the MBTI and this helps as people understand what it is like to be themselves and also how they differ from other people and find out more about what it is like to not be you.

So as Introverts, when working with extroverts we can enhance the relationship by coming over as someone with a bit more energy and enthusiasm and be willing to speak up more. 

Extroverts  can help get the best out of us as introverts by letting us know in advance what will be discussed, and ideally sending out written material in advance for pre reading.  They can also allow us time to respond and ask questions to draw us out.  If we want to discuss things on a one to one basis to again give advance notice of what is to be discussed and to allow us time to come back with our considered reply.

Another area that we, as Introverts can struggle is at parties and networking events. I’ll cover this in part two of this article.

Can I help? Do you have a comment to make, either comment below or get in touch.

• Remove your standard contact details and replace them with a web based email address such as hotmail, yahoo, or Gmail.
• Change your current company name to a more generic company description.

Want to discuss – add your comments below or contact Denise Taylor, award winning career coach at www.amazingpeople.co.uk

I’ve just received a survey form and it is so very complex.

Why don’t people make responding to a survey simple? I think that sites like surveymonkey have made online surveys really easy to create, which can be good, but people still need to be aware of good survey design.

As a psychologist I used to always trial surveys to make sure the questions were reliable and valid as a measure, people understood what was required and that I’d be likely to get a good response rate..

The one I have just received has asked me to rank 8 items under one question; 6 under another, 5 under another and then another 6 choices against a final question. All of these decisions to make and can we really say there is a difference between items? 

It would be so much easier to rank my thoughts against a 1-5 scale – where I can say to what extent I agree, or disagree with something, but having to rank my answers is too complex.

It’s such a shame as there are some real benefits to be gained from the result of this survey, but if I don’t feel able to complete, I wonder what their response will be?

My Friend Andew sent me this photo today, most approrpriate given it is the Winter Solstice.

The white does trace out the shape that would be taken if you took a picture of the Sun at the same time each day. This shape is called an analemma

As it is the Winter Solstice, today the sun would be at the bottom. Andrew said that this analemma wasbuit up from 46 separate photos taken of the sun in 2003 in Athens.

There are many reasons you may want to book a session with a career coach.

These can include topics such as

• Thinking about who you are and what you want, in your work and personal life.
• Having some time to discuss how you feel about your current situation.
• Objective assistance in finalising a decision.
• Discussing what your next career move should be.
• Exploring ways of making yourself more marketable.
• Review of a recent appraisal, or disappointment at interview or assessment centre.
• Taking stock of your life and career and decide whether to focus on regaining the passion for your job or to make the transition to move elsewhere.
• Time to focus on you, especially if you feel you are heading for burn out.
• Preparing a strategy for a new job or to enhance your career prospects.
• Reviewing a recent appraisal, performance review or assessment centre.
• A chance to reflect on the last 12 months and make plans for the year ahead.

Interested? please get in touch with Denise

Each year I chose a new charity to support.

I’ve now decided to undertake fundraising for Barnardo’s. So instead of Christmans Cards I’ll be making a donation to Barnado’ and shortly I’ll set up a facility where people can book a 30 minute career coaching session for a donation to charity.

I was chatting to a potential client earlier and we touched on whether I was available to see clients at weekends.

As  most of my clients are in work I need to see them outside of working hours, so my husband is used to me working 3 or 4 evenings a week.  Then I sometimes see clients on a Saturday, but certainly not every weekend.

This is why I need a good page a week diary, so I get a good sense of my week and month and can ensure I get time for me.

If you read my newsletter you know I love music and have been to many festivals this year

1. Off the tracks, Derbyshire
2. Wychwood, Cheltenham 
3. Wireless
4. Nozstock, Herefordshire
5. Big Chill
6. Bloom
7. Beautiful Days
8. Creamfields
9. Bestival
10. Bearded Theory – stil to come on 4/5 October

Now the festival season is over I still have plenty of gigs planned for the Autumn

1. The Levellers at The Royal Albert Hall
2. Mugenkyo Taiko Drummers in Cheltenham
3. The Rifles at Gloucester Guildhall
4. Underworld at Brixton Academy
5. 3 Daft Monkeys at the Guildhall
6. Route 66 in Tewkesbury
7. Circus of Horrors in Cheltenham
8. Oysterband at the Guildhall
9. Human League, ABC and Heaven 17 in Wolverhamption
10. Pendulum in LLandudno

Gosh, hadn’t realised we have 10 events in about as many weeks! So yes I see clients at weekends, and I don’t think anyone could say all I do is work as I certainly take plenty of time for the things I enjoy!

Just hoping you also take time for yourself alongside your job.