Time to say no

Time to put yourself first.

Sometimes we find our diary full, and not always in a good way. People have encouraged us to take on a commitment and we said yes. It could be that we have little choice, it is a work commitment.

In the work place when we are encouraged to take on an extra task, better to seek out our assertive side.

A great approach is to say: ‘I’d love to work in that task, which of my other tasks shall I set to one side?’  This helps your boss to see that you don’t have an elastic diary, and something must give. Chances are something will be passed on to someone else. Years ago I shared this technique with a colleague who later started to work for me, and she fed back these words to me. It worked.

In our personal lives our friends can want us to go shopping with them or go to a concert or play.

Maybe we already have a busy week, or our finances are a bit stretched. We don’t have to agree to everything. They may not know that we already have a diary of commitments or feel a bit under the weather and need the rest day.

If it is not right for you say so; but maybe offer something else, such as: “I’d love to go shopping with you; this week is very busy, how about next Saturday?”

Or if the tickets are expensive say you would prefer to do something else and arrange for a walk in the park, or coffee, or both!

BUT SOMETIMES THE PERSON YOU NEED TO SAY NO TO IS YOURSELF

If I talk about me … I love to say yes, I love new experiences, and when they are multiple things on offer how do I choose? This saw me dashing between 3 gigs last Friday – great fun but I should have chosen just one.

This week got me thinking. I truly am embracing my single life, and going out, a lot. Not because I don’t want to be in on my own. I’d love a night in, but because of my love for doing. I think I’m getting high on the dopamine rush of the new.

The more I thought of this, the more I realised I do need more quiet time.

So, I cancelled dashing to a gig at the other end of the county and had a quieter evening. I’m reviewing my diary and wondering if I really need to do everything. I thought I wanted to learn Samba drumming but I need to practice outside of the class. Is this right for me, right now?

If I was coaching me I’d be asking myself what is important to me – right now, and I’d answer that I need peace and quiet and more time out in nature. So, I have my answer.

YOUR TASK

Think about your life, are you saying yes too many times?

Is there a way you can get more of what you do want?

And, do you know what this is?

So today, lunch with friends, then more quiet, a walk in the park, or reading a book at home. Some quiet till out this evening. But balanced with more time in nature on Sunday.

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