As a chartered psychologist my work extends much further than work on choosing a career and help with job search. Alongside the external journey to make a career change, I help clients with their internal journey to understand themselves more clearly and to develop strategies to deal with challenging situations.
Ioan Gruffudd, star of Hornblower and Black Hawk Dawn has been in the news, explaining why he is seeing a psychologist. Let’s look at how some of his issues also affect my clients.
… Ioan Gruffudd, 40, deals with the onset of middle-age, he is also having to swallow the bitter reality that he is no longer in demand as a leading man.
Not everyone can reach the top, and the further someone climbs to the top of an organisation the less opportunities there are. And not everyone is ‘hungry enough’ for success to keep going. This is a time to consider alternative routes, perhaps to rethink every aspect of a job search – small improvements to CV, LinkedIn profile, the way you connect could all make a difference. So too could be rethinking what provides career satisfaction and perhaps to get more involved as a mentor or outside of work with a voluntary organisation.
… ‘I’m auditioning for dozens of parts at the moment, but I’m just not getting them. I can’t play someone who’s 30 any more. . . maybe 35 at a push.
This does sound like he is making the mistake of going for many different jobs in the hope that putting himself out there will lead to success. Probably he should be auditioning for parts for people who are closer to his age. I also wonder if UK TV may be a better option, he still has such a great reputation due to Hornblower. A focus on a job that we are qualified for is far more likely to lead to success, at any age and for all career paths, not just acting.
‘My confidence has really taken a knock, and the worst thing you can do when you’re feeling like that is to go to one of these auditions. ‘You really don’t want to come across as desperate, so I’ve been working with a psychologist to help me overcome all that.’
I come across this frequently. Clients who get knock backs month after month and they reach a point where they don’t even think they will get the job and it shows, they appear desperate. So I work with them on their self talk and also how they present themselves, our body language and clothing can also have an impact on how we come across.
He admits that the pressures of being the sole breadwinner and having to fund their four-year-old girl Ella’s schooling have also started to mount up. And the couple had their second child, Elsie, in September. He says ruefully: ‘It’s difficult, especially when you have to provide for your family — and, unfortunately, I’m the one shouldering all that responsibility right now.’
A marriage is a partnership and we should be able to talk about this and together to decide what is the best decision to take.
