The time to un-become everything that isn’t really me.

Maybe the journey isn’t so much about becoming anything. Maybe it’s about un-becoming everything that isn’t really you, so you can be who you were meant to be in the first place. Paulo Coelho.

A year ago, I thought this statement was true to me as I embraced my single life and caught up on my life after nearly 40 years in relationships. I hadn’t had much time alone and loved living in town, going to gigs and enjoying spending time with friends.

My life was happening – out there.

I was also interested in my life direction – I’d run Amazing People as a career consultancy for 21 years. Was this where I wanted to focus the rest of my life? I’d been getting more interested in meaningful ageing, for both myself and others. I didn’t want to have a life unlived and feared that more than death.

Finding out about the 4 Shields and the Vision Quest process it was exactly what I needed.  

Taking a week to gently get ready for the course, the 4 days preparation at base camp and then the 4 days and nights solo fast – no tent, no food, just water and nature with a simple shelter along a gentle re-entry has been powerful. In a quieter way.

I still have my energy – running all the way through me but it doesn’t have to show through lots of activity and bouncing at gigs.

It can show in quieter ways too. Taking time to appreciate nature, savour my Matcha Tea Latte, and being a person who radiates warmth and energy.

People are noticing this. My friend last night, my Chiropractor this morning, “there’s something about you?” they both said as they looked at my face. ‘you have this glow?’ said one.

I seem to have changed my way of relating to people I don’t know too. Striking up conversations, with deeper meaning.

Saying things that come across as wise. As they should. I’m now a wise woman.

Talking with my Mum today I’ve encouraged her to spend more time with nature; to look for ways to be kind to herself and to notice her energy level. She does not need to be with people who drain her energy. All she needs to say is ‘I need to go now’ and centre herself till she gets her energy back.

The quote at the top is true to me. It fits me now. I now understand what it means. People will see me now un-becoming so the real me shines through. Let loose. It has been hidden for far too long.

Maybe the journey isn’t so much about becoming anything. Maybe it’s about un-becoming everything that isn’t really you, so you can be who you were meant to be in the first place. Paulo Coelho.

If this resonates with you, I would love to hear from you.

2 responses to “The time to un-become everything that isn’t really me.

  1. Thank you for this. You have so eloquently expressed what I think I acknowledged in myself a while ago but am struggling to move forward with. Baby steps!

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