In a recent article by Naomi Simson – The 21 day challenge – no phone in the company of others she wrote that her taxi driver lamented that most people are too busy on their phone to chat anymore and she wondered if she was missing out by not being present. It’s often less likely to be talking, more likely to be emails.
People now expect an instant reply, but should we? Sometimes it is better to allow some space between getting an email and responding, or hearing a message and phoning back. We often need some time to reflect and provide a more measured reply.
I no longer have my iPhone next to me when I’m relaxing, nor do I check my phone when ‘out and about’. I’m certainly not looking at my phone when I’m out for the evening or having lunch with colleagues.
And it feels good.
It’s also so much quicker to deal with emails in a block rather than one at a time.
Naomi is taking this 21 day challenge, to not use a mobile phone in the presence of others and to be more open to conversations with the people she is with.

How about you, what about taking time to talk with the people you are with, listen to what they have to say and make a new connection?
Sounds good to me, and I’m now into my 5th day of doing this.

On Wednesday, I chatted with my taxi driver going back to Paddington after a consultancy assignment and on the train got talking with 2 different people.
The first, a student on the way to an assessment centre, and we talked about the event and how to be at her best. She was delighted to get interview and assessment centre tips from me.
The second was an older man, and we talked about a number of things and it was an interesting conversation. I wasn’t pushing the work I do but I spoke a little about my job, he took my card as he thought I may be able to help his grand daughter, but that wasn’t my intention.
Overall it was a nice 2 hour train journey. I wasn’t rushing to do work and make calls, but taking time to be present, to reflect and to arrive home feeling much more relaxed than trying to cram so much into this trip.

Are you addicted you your mobile phone?

Recent research suggests people are checking their phone every six and a half minutes. If you don’t think you check yours anything like that, then many are checking even more frequently.
Before mobile phones, and the internet, we made appointments and stuck to them, we kept to time and spoke to people face to face. With so much sharing on Facebook and Twitter it can make us feel a little frustrated to even get a phone call.
But the biggest change is in how we use this technology when we are with others. Leave the cinema and people are checking the phone as they walk out the door, but some will have been checking during the film – you notice the glow in the theatre
Constantly checking our phone can be an addiction that can interfere and badly affect relationships. We aren’t connected to the person we are with, putting technology first.
People like to be listened to, and to feel that you want to be with them, not putting them second to what’s on the screen.

Weekend Challenge

It’s Friday – how about taking a 24 hour break from technology, but even more importantly why not spend more time with the people that you are with rather than only partly giving them your attention.
I’d love to hear how you get on, next week of course!


How to Get Promoted

I was one of the experts on a Guardian Career Forum – ‘How to Get Promoted’ and had previously written an article on this subject for The Guardian  –

Wishing you a very happy weekend,
Till next time
Denise x
Brought to you by Denise Taylor, double award winning career psychologist with Amazing People ( and the author of ‘How To Get A Job In A Recession.’ My 7th book ‘Getting the Job You Want’ published by ICON books is now on sale.

Published On: February 15th, 2013 / Categories: Career Management, Students and Graduates /

One Comment

  1. Denise Taylor May 20, 2013 at 7:43 pm

    Hi Denise,
    Just got back from a short holiday and read your email. I couldn’t agree more! It really annoys me when people are constantly checking their phones/tablets/laptops etc, particularly when you are either trying to have a conversation with them or waiting for some sort of service from them. It annoys me also when in a queue in a shop, even if having to wait for a long time, if the phone rings, it gets answered immediately, while customers are left waiting longer. Surely the person phoning could always try again later but people in the shop may not have the time to continue waiting.
    I am self-employed, albeit in a small way, but still spend only £10 every three months on my mobile phone.
    The holiday we have just taken was to a Welsh cottage, in a remote situation with no mobile signal and no internet connection, only sheep and the stars for company-BLISS!
    Thanks for the continuing contact.

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