Last time I wrote about being overwhelmed by clutter, and this topic resonated with many, so thanks for your comments, good to know I’m not on my own. I’ve continued with my fight against clutter and recently sorted through my emails. Not sure when I decided I’d keep so many but with on average 30+ emails per client I’ve spent a couple of days on admin, copying useful info into word documents, one per client that I can refer to when needed.
Today I’d like to focus more on staying in control of our time.
We lead busy lives we have many things we want to do and it’s not just about work. There’s time to spend with family and friends, to concentrate on our health, time for personal development and time just to be.
But sometimes other people can be overly demanding and even pressurise us to get involved. They tell me things such as
- ‘ … but it will only take a couple of hours’
- ‘ … you are so creative we really need your input’
- ‘ … I’d do it myself but you are so much better at this than me.’
Should we say yes?
We might, but it should certainly be a conscious decision and not something we are bullied into. When I was younger and keen to raise my profile I volunteered a lot. At work I would ‘lean in’ and volunteer and with my professional associations I’d volunteer for committees. Both resulted in a win-win, the work got done and I improved my reputation, and both in and out of work it helped me gain promotions.
But now I’m in a different stage of my life. With elderly parents and grandchildren, and wanting to spend time with my husband and also to go to gigs, the theatre and the gym, and of course time to chill and to read. So my immediate answer will be no thanks.
Why saying no is a good thing
I’m finding saying no is very powerful and it’s not something I’m used to doing. With a typical response being something like
‘thanks for asking, but I’m going to pass on this opportunity’ or
‘I don’t have space in my diary at this time’
it gives me time to go away and decide if it is something that fits with my goals. It means that I can focus my energy in the direction I want rather than find my focus moving to someone else’s priority.
I also say no to potential clients that I don’t think are a good fit. I want to enjoy working with people.
When you have to say yes
It’s not always within our control. When our boss comes to us with work tasks we can feel that we have to say yes and then feel snowed under. I used to feel like this till I worked out a great response that assertively raised with my boss that there was too much on. I’d say something like
‘I appreciate this task is urgent and you would like me to complete by the end of tomorrow. As you know I already have other urgent tasks, can you let me know which I should leave to one side to allow me to concentrate on this one.’
Of course your boss may come back and say – but they are all urgent, we need them all done right away.
So you use the broken record technique and continue to repeat
‘I appreciate this task is urgent and you would like me to complete by the end of tomorrow. As you know I already have other urgent tasks, can you let me know which I should leave to one side to allow me to concentrate on this one.’
It worked for me and should work for you too. You need to say it clearly and stay firm.
Christmas is coming
If you know someone who needs help with career choice or job search you may like to arrange a coaching session or programme.
Spend more than £100 and I’ll send you a free book. Please get in touch to organise.
Recent Blog posts
- Rethink the interview – https://www.amazingpeople.co.uk/rethink-interview/
- Stop doing the same thing if you want a different result – https://www.amazingpeople.co.uk/stop-result/
Next time
I’ll be in touch next week to talk about the power of focus.
Till next time, with kind regards
Denise x
